The Pumpkin Patch

This blog is my attempt to recreate every thought of a neurotic food-obsessed man falling down the stairs while shouting about NPR, reaching impact.

I'm also in this band:

http://madmuleband.tumblr.com/

Dig it.
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I haven’t been doing a whole hell of a lot since leaving college, to an embarrassing degree. The story of my life has been like one of those “choose your own adventure” books, except it usually goes like this: 

Chapter 1: Go to work

Chapter 2: Go see family

Chapter 3: Make a drink

Repeat Chapter 3 or go to bed?

Repeat chapter 3

Chapter 4: Go to bed

Repeat from chapter one or fuck off?

…Well shit, I’ll repeat chapter one then. Sometimes chapter 3 means I go out and get a drink, but you don’t really get to make a variable choice chapter, except you do sometimes, but only when… fuck you, I don’t know this style of writing. 

The point is, my life hasn’t amounted to much except work, drink and watch Community reruns, a lifestyle that, all things considered, should qualify me as an alcoholic, were I driven a driven enough drinker to do it in excess. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy enough and it’s nice to not have to worry about money (as much), but it’s really started to be a bit of a drain that other people I know are out making something of their lives while I’m sitting around convincing myself that my life isn’t kind of sad.

BUT

but

butt

Things may not be that way for much longer. 

Sweet.